Several years ago, my sister-in-law pointedly asked me why I never gave her the benefit of the doubt. Honestly, I had no answer for her as to why, but I knew it was true. Offering this trust was not my first inclination in most situations. For many years following that conversation, I dug into that question. I considered the times I made assumptions about the people I love the most even while knowing their hearts and their genuine charity. It comes from a place of woundedness & I go through seasons where I’m more wounded than others. It also stems from a spiritual laziness where God does not get the priority of my mind; He is consulted only after negative feelings are stirred up because of the assumptions I have already made.

To say that I “assume” something carries with it a negative connotation. I am declaring that I suspect it is not true, not real, or not good. Making assumptions has more to do with what’s going on inside of me and my heart than what is going on with others. It is the assumption that I know the motives of the other person, placing myself in God’s seat with all His knowledge. To assume or to jump to conclusions stirs up anger, pride, frustration, the tendency to gossip and judge, and so much more. It is a gateway to a lack of interior freedom, a lack of true charity, and makes me unavailable to what I should be focusing on.

I fell in love with words and where they come from when one of my high school Religion teachers broke down the etymology of almost every word and concept he taught us. When you learn the history of a word, it matters more. As tomorrow’s Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary drew closer, I began to wonder about the connection of those words. To assume and to be assumed.

In sum, here is what I found: “Assumere" means to take up or adopt. “Assumption” comes directly from the Latin assumptionem, "a taking up, receiving, acceptance, adoption.” By their etymology, these words should mean something more similar. Could it be that we should intentionally offer God our thoughts first? Could we point our assumptions higher, allowing Him the opportunity to sort them properly?

As the Church teaches, Mary is the New Eve to Christ, the New Adam. Her presence at the crucifixion and her full Assumption to Heaven is the final reversal of the consequences of the Fall, eternal death. As she is assumed into the New Covenant, she welcomes us into that same beatific vision. An article I read says it perfectly. Because Mary was assumed body and soul, she “has everything she needs to see our problems—as well as our potential for holiness—and to help us grow into little Christs.”

As I work to continue to develop Christ within me, I have learned a few methods to assist in this process.

• In many situations, I ask. I’ve learned to over-communicate with the other person in an effort to avoid unnecessary assumptions. No one is ever going to be mad at you for wanting to understand them better.

• I listen to others. Thankfully, Josh is often my voice of reason about scenarios I have crafted assumptions about. He often offers me possible solutions I’m not considering and it’s important that I am open to his input. 

• I pick up the Bible. Spending time in Scripture softens my defense mechanisms, allowing for a more Heavenly approach to my thought process. 

• I find Grace. Frequenting the Sacraments, especially Reconciliation, allows me to be open to the grace that I so desperately need in order to rise above this tendency. 

• I pray. We are never beyond expanding our capacity for God, therefore our capacity for others. I ask God to show me the areas in which I need growth.

I am now confident that I need to include Mary’s help. With her assistance, my thoughts can assume to heaven, give the benefit of the doubt, extend grace and mercy to the other person, and meet them in their humanity. If I’m being honest I could use some of her help in this area right now. I have several assumptions to offer up.

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More information on the doctrine of the Assumption of Mary:

https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/the-immaculate-conception-in-scripture

https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/the-assumption-of-mary-in-history