Seek.
We live out in the country, surrounded by canals, ponds, heavy equipment, and plenty of nooks and crannies for children to escape to. When one of them goes temporarily missing, and they all have at some point, we immediately execute a seek plan. We aggressively look in and around every area starting with the most dangerous. As parents in those scary moments, no energy is spared in finding them. Usually, we find them in a great hiding spot joyfully waiting for us.
While on retreat this weekend we had the pleasure of spending time with Fr. Vincent Ajayi. He asked us to determine an intention for our first Mass of the weekend which accompanied Luke’s famous “ask and you shall receive” gospel. Like the reading says, what parent would give his child a stone if he asked for something to eat? In contrast, Fr. Vincent had us consider which parent would give a toddler a knife simply because he wants it. It is true that the Lord desires to give us what we want, but more importantly, He gives us what we need.
He kept reiterating that we must always remember to ask the Lord for what we want as well as to seek those desires. I think that’s the part I always forget – the seeking. We seek out so many things in our lives: houses we want to live in, success in our careers, relationships or friendships we desire, things we want to own, etc. But, sometimes, I simply make God aware of something I want and I leave it at that. As protection against not being disappointed or not getting what I want, I toss it up and wait to see what happens. The word “seek” in Luke’s gospel and Father’s homily really found me this weekend. The reality is that our human condition is often tired, depleted, sad, or discouraged and the seeking seems too insurmountable. It can feel like we only have the energy to ask. But, the devil wants us to believe that so that he can try to outwork us.
My intention at that Mass was for Joy. I wanted to experience joy this weekend and in my life. I have recognized that joy has been lacking lately. As you can predict, through a series of “ridiculous” events and attachments, Josh and I found ourselves on the opposite end of joy, smack dab in the middle of a conflict while facilitating a marriage retreat. As the devil would have it, he disrupted our unity and attempted to derail us from the mission. I prayed for joy; he sought to steal it. I quickly realized that I / we would have to go seeking joy, not just asking for it. Together, Josh and I pursued that and denied the devil his opportunity to have his way with our weekend. It required effort, humility, forgiveness, and gratitude. As a result, the Lord granted us the joy we so desperately desired and the unity we needed.
And just as Luke’s gospel says, “I tell you, if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence.” Of the many lessons I was gifted this weekend, this one stood out – to spare no energy in seeking that which I’ve asked for and to trust in full confidence that, as a result of my persistence, the Lord will provide what I need.
