For as long as I can remember, my mom asked us to play Garth Brooks’ “The River” at her funeral. Long before I had ever attended one of his concerts, long before I ever wanted to consider her funeral, and long before she was sick, she was making this request. In fact, in true “Tricia-fashion,” I believe she actually wanted Garth Brooks himself to make an appearance. One of the fondest memories I have from my time with her as a child is her red, zippered tape case. It sat beneath my passenger seat and it was my job to pick a new tape amongst all the greats – Reba McEntire, Garth Brooks, Bryan White, James Taylor, The Carpenters, George Strait, Tanya Tucker and so many more.

Music has always been significant in my life. Growing up, I spent many hours recording the radio, especially the “top 8 at 9”; I danced all of the time both in a dancing studio and in my room to any music I could get my hands on; and I attended several meaningful concerts as a young child and as a young adult. I remember attending my very first concert with my friend Sally somewhere around 4th grade. Her parents took us to see Shania Twain and I almost touched her jacket! My mom took some friends and I to two NSync concerts and two Backstreet Boys concerts when we were in middle school. (As a parent, I now comprehend the incredible sacrifice in that.) I saw the oh-so-incredible James Taylor on the evening of my high school graduation. And, most of my best memories in college were made in the House of Blues New Orleans, watching another one of Edwin McCain’s shows.

During each semester in college, I would treat myself to a good concert. And, at the end of every semester, I would treat myself to a good trip. I have shared so many profound musical experiences with friends at the House of Blues in New Orleans, Tipitina’s in Uptown, the Cajundome, Heymann Performing Arts Center, the Baton Rouge River Center, and places as far as NYC, Boston, Houston, Dallas, and even Paris, Switzerland, and more. From Sara Bareilles to Rascal Flatts to Keith Urban to Ray Lamontagne to Chris Tomlin to Audrey Assad to the Molly Ringwalds, if it was happening, I was probably there. My trips usually involved good music and I always tried to coordinate a concert at my next destination.

My connection to music transcends words. Ironically, I know nothing about instruments, or scales, or music theory... I just know what makes me come alive and what doesn’t. When I was 20, my mom expressed that she felt I spent too much money doing these things – attending concerts and traveling. I tried to explain to her that I could not put a price on these experiences. Music had a way of healing me from the inside out. It placed words to feelings I could not articulate; it alleviated the stress of responsibility and exhaustion; it allowed me the opportunity to feel happiness in a way that I did not elsewhere. And, so much of me grew and expanded when I traveled. I always returned home from my travels as if I had been on an extended retreat. Whether it was to visit a friend or to study abroad or just to get away alone, I physically and emotionally needed to expand my life beyond the borders of just being home. There are things you can learn about yourself and the world when you are traveling – it is a classroom unlike the one I work in. And, Josh and I have always felt that since you cannot take your money with you to Heaven, you may as well invest it in others and in making memories with those you love.

I often wonder if professional musicians like Garth set out to change someone’s life? When they write music or compose albums, do they know that they could be attached to someone’s biggest moments in their lives? I certainly remember the beauty and the holiness of Catholicism that surrounded my mom’s funeral Mass. But, I also remember that we got to fulfill her request with “The River” blaring on the speakers after Communion. I sang each word as if it was my last song with her. Since she died, that song has hurt so good.

Shortly after she died, Garth re-entered the music scene. I was fortunate enough to attend a concert in Houston during his first new tour. I’ll never forget how hard we cried when he sang “The River” in the Houston’s River Center. It was beautiful. I recorded it as I stood there allowing all of the emotion to wash over me.

Two years later, last June, I was fortunate enough to experience him again when he came to Lafayette. It was undoubtedly one of the funnest nights we had had in a long time and it was exactly one week before the accident. If you have ever been to one of his concerts, it is truly an experience! I sang (screamed) every word to every song and I didn’t want the night to end. As usual, we all cried as he sang her beloved “The River” as it’ll always be “her song.” As I stood there that night, I recognized how special my life was – I was healthy, I felt great, I was living my best life. I was blessed and fortunate and living in a brand new home. I was working out regularly, I was eating well, my prayer life was so consistent, my kids were healthy, and Josh was finally home after the lengthy crawfish season in Texas. Life was so, so good. That concert certainly ranks as one of the highest in my experiences with music and, in some way, it was a milestone of goodness in my life.

Only 5 days later, I embarked on another one of my trips, this time with my friend Tanya. Though it would be brief, I was excited to see Magnolia Market with my own eyes and to spend time with her! We spent 7 hours in the car on the way to Waco talking about life, sharing stories, and listening to music. We had much to catch up on and not a minute was wasted.

The trip was filled with many small hiccups that have grown into special pieces of beauty for me. Due to some confusing construction zones, we accidentally passed up Chick-fil-a by several miles when we neared Waco. She was adamant that we turn back around to eat there and I am grateful I obliged. Once we arrived to the hotel room late that night, we were greeted by a leaky toilet. And, if you know Tanya, you know that that was fixed immediately. (And, if you REALLY knew Tanya, you know that not only was it fixed, but that she was comped for the whole room the next morning!) The evening ended perfectly as we fell asleep that night laughing about the 15-foot phone charging cable she was proud to have purchased that day and the fact that she did not CrossFit anymore because she did not want her hair to be sweaty. **Yes, the cable was 15-feet. I am not sure why one needs 15 feet of charging cable, but I was able to parade around the entire hotel room with her phone still plugged into the wall.** In the morning, not because she liked coffee but because she really wanted their yogurt parfait and knew that I really liked coffee, we decided to eat breakfast at the Starbucks found in the hotel lobby. And, as we loaded up into the car that morning, my fresh and full coffee spilled all over the concrete. She encouraged me to go back into Starbucks and ask for a new one and, to my surprise, the barista happily made me a brand new one at no cost! We spent that entire Friday at Magnolia Market in the heat with no real agenda but to enjoy the time. We selected lunches from the food trucks at Magnolia and ate outside at a picnic table across from the sweetest little family visiting from the north. They were shocked by the heat in Texas!

I could never have predicted that this trip would change my life forever. Without any preparation, I would be thrust into a new season much different than the one I experienced at the Garth Brooks concert and on my way to Waco and during the day at Magnolia. On the trip home, my friend would not survive the accident and, for 30 days after, I would live in a hospital room and away from my family. I would meet challenges greater than I had ever even considered. I would grieve and hurt and struggle and fight my way through. I would spend the next year in countless doctor’s offices and therapy sessions of all kinds. Garth Brooks would sing one of the last songs I heard with Tanya on that drive home. Consequently, it took 8 months after the accident for me to listen to Garth again. That Chick-fil-a value meal was one of the last meals I would share with her. It would take me 11.5 months after the accident to step foot back into a Chick-fil-a. Every time I plug my phone in, I think about that 15-foot cable, especially when I wish my was cord was longer! Each cup of Starbucks coffee that I have had in the last year has reminded me of her. One of the only purchases that made it safely home from Texas that day is a bar of soap that Tanya picked out for me. It still sits in my laundry room unused. I did not change many of the preset stations of her car radio, as I know music was just as much a part of her life as it is mine. And, as you can imagine, I have yet to travel far since the accident.

This week, Josh and I will travel to Mexico. We originally scheduled this trip as encouragement for the fight that seemed insurmountable at times. Now that it’s here, I cannot help but remember her. A year later, it is another milestone for me since the accident, another first. As I prepare for the trip, I find myself humbled to have the opportunity to travel anywhere. There was a point in time where I could not fathom being able to go anywhere. And, despite how difficult this year has been, I am most grateful to be alive – to be able to still “choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide.”